What you leave behind

I don’t like the phrase “things you leave behind” because that implies that the other party just stops.  That is not what happens – you both keep moving and growing, just on different paths.  You hope that once your paths reconnect sometime in the future, you will be able to pick back up where you left off.  This is also not what happens.  Instead, you are now two different people.  In the best case, you will be able to meld the people you were before and the people you are now into an even stronger relationship.  You may even experience a period of joy as you rediscover each other.  In the worst case, you will drift further and further apart. 

This uncertain future is what made my choice to move to Japan even harder.  I would be setting off on a different path not just from friends, parents, and siblings, but from my husband as well.  We do not know how the people we will become will feel about each other.    We both hope for the best and feel this change came at the best possible time.  I recently graduated from an education program, am currently unemployed with no prospects in our local school district, and we have no children.  If I wanted to spend some time abroad, this would be my last opportunity.  We made this decision together with the hope that the time apart would strengthen us as individuals and as a couple.

But even if that is the case, I am still aware of the things I am leaving behind–

Black hollyhocks, peaking up in the front window, stained maroon by the setting sun. Underwater barks from the puppy sleeping in your lap as you read or watch TV.  Four legged napping partners that take up three quarters of the bed then paw at you until they get it all.  The pure joy on their faces when you find "the spot."  Soft snoring that drives you mad when you are trying to get to sleep but reassures you when you wake up suddenly in the night.  Hot panting on your face if you happen to move when it's almost time to "go outside."  Twirling and dancing as you move around each other in the kitchen, the smell of food trailing after you.  Made up songs about puppy adventures set to 80's rock tunes. Pillow pits.  Entire weekends spent in pajamas playing video games.  Gossip and a "glass" of wine.  Being someone's pillow.  Impromptu family reunions at the farm.  When your heart skips a beat as he lights the fireworks and slowly lopes away on the 4th of July.  Inside jokes.  Outside voices.  Cocktail dresses, just because.  Cuddling up under all the blankets and clothing you own and listening to the blizzard howl outside, wondering when they will get the power back on.  The silence of falling snow.  Peonies with heads so heavy they almost touch the ground.  Fiery poppies.  Watching the lightning dance across the sky from the safety of his arms.  Dog faces watching from the picture window as you come up the front steps.  The ensuing celebration when you get inside, whether it's been five minutes or five days.  Visits from distant family that end too soon.  Sharing all these simple, daily moments with the people you love.

On a lighter note

My initial post got a little heavy.  Sorry about that.  I am not usually so forward with my philosophy.  As my departure gets closer, though, I find myself reflecting on why I am making this trip.  I am leaving behind a lot.   But I think I will be gaining even more.   Bear with me as I figure out my style and direction for this blog.  It’s not every day you open up your life to the internet.

So why I am writing a blog?  It is simply an easy way to share my experiences with my friends and family in the United States and around the world.  It is also a digital record of my trip made for my own enjoyment.  The ability to add pictures and videos makes this a lot more convenient than traditional pen and paper. 

Since this forum is public though, there is also the chance random strangers will become wrapped up in my adventures.  I will try and keep this in mind, but this blog is intended to be more personal in nature.  If you do find anything offensive or critical in my opinion, I hope you will remember it is just that – one person’s opinion. We all perceive the world through the filter of our own experiences and biases.  These posts were written honestly and with a lot of thought.  It is not my intention to criticize, discriminate, demean, marginalize, annoy, or in any way irritate those reading this blog. There are enough unfriendly places in this world.  Let’s leave that for the less awesome people hiding in the shadows of the internet.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” - Lao Tzu

Well, actually, for me it starts with an eleven hour flight from San Francisco to Osaka.  So how does a girl living in one of the least densely populated states in the USA move to one of the most densely populated islands in the world?  Easy – pure chance and a significant amount of luck.

I have not always been fascinated with Japan.  I only started seriously looking into the culture, language, and history less than a year ago.  In many ways, I am completely unprepared for this transition.  While I have been studying Japanese since I decided to take this path, my language skills are basic at best.  I can only recognize about sixty kanji.  My knowledge of etiquette and culture is also limited.  But it is because of these things that I am taking this journey.  I have a desire to learn, not just about this amazing country, but about humanity.  I want to experience things that are completely new – things that I could never experience in my own country.  I want to be illiterate; I want to struggle with communication and social situations; I want to understand what it is like to be an outsider.  I want to experience those things that make my culture so different from the one I am entering and better recognize the things that are universal – the things that make us human.  I want to see myself through the eyes of a foreign culture.  I want to discover what it is that makes myself me.  This is a journey of self-discovery.

For those of you that have dreamed of moving to Japan, I hope you get there.  It is not difficult if you put your mind to it.  There are many opportunities just waiting for you to apply or take a chance.  I also hope that you will accept my ignorance.  I fully admit that I do not know as much about the land I am moving to as I should.  I welcome advice and guidance from those more knowledgeable than myself.  As I said, this is a search for understanding and enlightenment.

 

Please also realize that this is one person’s approach.  As with anything on the internet, take all of this with a grain of salt and find your own solution.  I am very grateful for the advice and guidance I have received, but in the end I had to come to my own conclusions.  I hope that by sharing my experiences I can help others too, but there are many, many resources out there.  Look through them all and find what works for you and your situation.

As humans, I believe we grow more through adversity than prosperity.  I know the road ahead will be peppered with frustration, fear, and other negative experiences.  But there is also a great deal of fun and exciting new opportunities waiting for me across the ocean.  These are the moments I plan to share with you all. 

Please join me on my journey.  Share my triumphs and learn from my failures.  I am always amazed at the internet’s ability to make us feel close to people we will never physically meet.  We can form and maintain friendships over amazing distances.  As our world becomes a smaller, more connected place, I think it is important to understand and recognize those things that make us different.  But we must also rejoice in the things we share.  That is humanity.   That is what I hope you will find on this blog.