Wednesday, October 22, 2014

From Under a Hot Pink Umbrella

The rain was lighter now, a gentle tapping on his umbrella, like a woman’s fingers on a tsuzumi, with the occasional loud pom of a tsuri daiko as collected rain dropped down from the trees.  His shoes were soaked and his toes were starting to feel stiff with cold.  But somehow, they were still not leading him home.

It was a rare fall rainstorm.  He had been caught off guard.  Forced to buy an umbrella at the convenience store, he was stuck with a hot pink one.  He smiled as he thought of how this must look to the squirrels and birds waiting out the storm in the branches above – a man in a charcoal suit, with a burgundy tie, and a hot pink umbrella.

The park was not on his usual route home.  In fact, it was in the opposite direction.  Was it the patter patter of the rain on the umbrella or the vibrant colors brought out by the rain that had led him down a different path this evening?  Did it really matter?

He sat down on a bench.  He shivered as the rain soaked into his pants.  After the long, stifling summer it was a welcome sensation to be chilled.  The thought of a cold crossed his mind, but was quickly dismissed as a problem for tomorrow. 
           
He looked out at the park from under his hot pink umbrella.  The shelter added a warm glow to everything.  Through the curtain of rain, the park seemed more alive than on any sunny day.  The greens, what was left of them, were vibrant as the first blades of grass in spring.  The path glistened inky black as if it were liquid rather than asphalt.  The first red leaves burned among their green brethren.

He curled his toes in his shoes, trying to warm them.  It would be time to go soon.  It was already noticeably darker.  There was a little less sparkle and the further trees were harder to see.

With a grunt, he pushed himself up from the bench.  The wet spot on his pants, which had begun to warm, was suddenly icy cold.  He gasped a little in surprise.

Maybe he would stop for a hot coffee on the way home.

***

She sniffed and rubbed her nose across the back of her hand.  Wet strands of hair clung to her face.

If it had been summer, she would not have minded forgetting her umbrella at home that morning.  But it was fall and the rain was cold.  It was refreshing, but she would rather experience it from the protection of an umbrella.  Or at least a more waterproof jacket.

She pulled the flaps of her father’s old pea coat tighter around herself.  The smell of wet wool reminded her of weekends spent at the shore.  She smiled.

Across the park she noticed a man in a dark suit sitting under a hot pink umbrella.  He was staring up into the leaves, his mind far away.  She glanced up to see what he could be so interested in. 

A large drop of water hit her square in the left eye.  She flinched.

Smiling at the man who had still not seen her, she continued through the park toward home.

***

They stood at the corner, waiting for the signal to cross. 

They shivered as the rain began to fall harder. 

“Excuse me,” he said, holding the hot pink umbrella toward her.

“Oh no, I’m fine,” she replied.  “I’m already soaked through.”
           
“Please.  It’s getting cold.”

“But your suit.”

He smiled, small wrinkles forming at the corners of his eyes betraying his age.  “It’s too late for me too.”

“I really couldn’t.”

“What if we shared?”

It was an interesting proposition.  In this city, one never got too close to strangers.  Even in crowded subway cars, when contact was necessary, people managed to keep a micro thin layer of personal space.

His smile tempted her.  But as the rain picked up to a steady downpour, she was compelled to take a small step toward him, into the strange pink light under the umbrella.

The sound of rain on the umbrella was a dull roar, like a speaker blasting white noise after the record has been removed but the ac is still on.  The smell of wet wool filled the small shelter.

The signal changed.  Without thinking, she took his arm as they crossed the street.

After a block, the rain began to taper off.  They did not break away from each other, though.  They had become accustomed to the slight warmth of their contact.  Night had come.  The street lights flickered to life.  They continued down the glistening street, under the warm glow of the hot pink umbrella.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Keeping it all in perspective

Every once in a while I have to remind myself that I am married.  Not for any nefarious reasons, of course, but I have to remember that while I am off having amazing adventures and wonderful new experiences, there is someone waiting for me at home.  Someone who misses me and doesn’t have the sights and sounds of a foreign land to distract them from their loneliness.

I am so lucky to have a partner that is willing to put my wants and needs ahead of his own.  Who is willing to place his trust in me and allow me to make my own decisions.  I cannot say I would be as generous and supportive if our roles were reversed.

One of the sayings I have really come to love in Japan is shoganai.  It basically means something can’t be helped.  When people ask me how my husband and I can be separated (they don’t quite understand the negative connotations of that word), I tell them shoganai.  The place we were living did not have the things both of us needed in this moment and it couldn’t be helped.  But it is more than that.  I needed to be somewhere else and I have a man who loves me enough to let me fly.

So, to my wonderful, amazing, and supportive husband, I love you.  Thank you for allowing me to chase my passion half way across the globe.  Thank you for recognizing and respecting my wanderlust and not trying to hold me too tight.  This has been hardest on you.  I won’t be home for a little while yet, but believe me I am looking forward to that day.  I love you.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Seeing Japan's honne

If I had to pick one word to describe Japan, I think it would have to be surprising.  Delightful (okashi) certainly fits, but I think surprising is a little more accurate.  I am constantly surprised by the people, sights, and culture of this amazing country.  And it's not just the big things - the grandeur and attention to detail in the design of Osaka Castle; the simple, quite beauty of a public garden; the genuine kindness and helpful nature of everyone I have met.  These things I expected to surprise me.  But it is the simple, everyday things that truly surprise me.  Like a glimpse of the pale green, weathered copper roof of a temple nestled behind modern homes on my regular walk to work that I never saw till this morning.


Or the neighbor who makes classroom style globes who happened to have the front door of his workshop/home open while he was spraying the final, glossy coat of varnish.  Behind him there was a whole wall of shiny, blue globes.
 

Or the second grader who asked me, in perfect English, what has impressed me the most in Japan.

Now part of this is my personality - my childlike excitement about the world and the small, unique moments that make up a day.  Like when I saw this guy on my walk home -



Or the beauty and tragedy of this moment -



But I think Japan itself is surprising.  There is a belief here in honne and tatemae.  In essence, honne is one’s true feelings and desires.  These might run contrary to the morals and ideas of society, so they are only shared with those close to you.   Tatemae is the face you show in public.  This face reflects the ideas and feeling of society and maintains balance and harmony.  It aligns with society’s idea of how a person in a certain position should act and think.  Honne and tatemae do not always agree, but it is expected that tatemae will be the side of you seen by the majority of people.  But every once in a while, a little bit of honne shines through.  So each time I am surprised, it is as if I am peeking behind the tatemae mask to see a whole new Japan.  And it is beautiful.  

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Tanjoubi omedetou: Turning thirty in a foreign country

Part 1:
Today is a big day.  A day thirty years in the making.  Today I am thirty!  It is funny how much difference a year makes.  Last year I turned off my cell phone and tried to avoid anyone who would wish me happy birthday.  It was not something I wanted to be reminded of.  Actually, all the birthdays after twenty-one were pretty depressing.  Each year was a reminder that I had not made much progress toward my goals.  I still have not finished my break out novel, but this year has been filled with so many other experiences and milestones.  I am finally living abroad, something I have always wanted to do.  I am experiencing a new culture first hand and growing in ways I never imagined.  Somewhat grudgingly I am getting back in shape.  And I get to spend my days with some amazing young people.  Not being able to celebrate with friends and family kind of sucks, since I actually want to celebrate, but I know they are all happy for me.  At least they will be tomorrow, when it is September 26th in America.

Part 2:
Usually I am not a huge believer in fortunes.  I take them with a healthy dose of skepticism.  But I am starting to believe the fortune I got on Mount Myoken might be real.  It said I was super lucky.  And you know what, I am!  



I had to leave it to make sure it came true.

Today was not just my birthday; it was also my school's cultural festival.  There were no classes.  Instead, I spent the day getting to know my students outside of the confines of English class.  I knew they were amazing, but they really took my breath away with their creativity, energy, and personalities.  We started off with a choral performance.  Every grade performed.  Some grades even had students playing the accompanying piano.  They all did very well and I was very glad I wasn't asked to judge.  The morning assembly also included performances by the brass band and everything was run by the students.  The only adult performance was a comedy routine by one of the elementary teachers.  I didn't understand every word, but it was a story about a boy with a very long name.  His father couldn't decide what name to give him, so he ended up with all the suggestions.  It was very funny.

In the afternoon each class had their own special activity.  They had spent hours preparing and it was great to see their ideas and passion take shape.  There were games, a cardboard maze, a movie written, filmed, and starring one class.  There were also two different plays and a scavenger hunt.  Students were running around from activity to activity.  I was pulled one way and then another as I made my rounds to each class.  It was so different from the school carnivals I was used to.  There were some parents, but this was by the students for the students.  Ninth graders played board games with fourth graders.  Everyone was laughing and having a blast.  It was a fantastic experience made all the more special because it was my birthday.  I am so glad I got to spend it playing with my students.

Part 3:
When the festival finally ended, and all the props, games, and prizes were cleaned up, all the teachers breathed a sigh of relief.  While the students did the majority of the work (and clean up), it was still a draining experience for the staff.  In order to celebrate and unwind, we all went out for dinner. 
Japan has an amazing tradition called a nomikai.  You go to a restaurant and for a certain amount of time it is all you can drink.  There is a set menu and plates of food are shared, but the important part is the drinking.  This is a chance to really relax and get to know each other.  I was so glad to be invited.  Because I live pretty far away from my school, I don't have a lot of chance to get to know my fellow teachers.  Some of them I talked to for the first time as we shared food and stories. 
It was also my first Japanese birthday party!  I was caught by surprise when the lights in the restaurant dimmed and the waitress came out with a birthday cake and balloons.  

Mmmmmmmm.
Everyone sang happy birthday, in English, and set off the poppers they had been hiding all through dinner.  They even gave me a tensile garland to wear.  I was completely overwhelmed.  It was a wonderful evening.  I truly am super lucky to be assigned to such a wonderful school.

So happy!


Part 4:

I finally made it home a little after midnight, exhausted and a little drunk.  I had left at 6:30 that morning.  It was a super long day, but it was one amazing birthday.  I was dreading turning thirty. But in the end, it was one of the best birthdays I have had in a very long time.  It even beat twenty-one. 

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Japan is not the place to sort out your body issues

Like many women, and men, I suffer from body image issues.  I have struggled with my weight and self-image since high school, but more so in recent years due to injury and being almost thirty.  While the move to Japan has caused an increase in my physical activity - I am walking about ten miles a day - and a slightly healthier diet, it has not always bene good for my self-esteem.

This weekend was especially rough.  A friend and I were taken kimono shopping by my amazing landlady and a kimono teacher she knows.  What started out as an exciting opportunity turned into a silent struggle to hold back tears.  I was just too big.

Kimonos are made to be worn a very specific way.  There is very little variation in size, so it is up to the wearer to make modifications for the correct fit.  Usually this means adding a little padding around the middle.  But for me, I already had too much padding.  There was also some concern over my height, the width of my shoulders, the length of my arms, the size of my bust, and my wide hips.  This is not to say the kimonos would not cover me.  I just could not wear it in a traditional way.

After an afternoon of "ookii" and "ichiban ookii" exchanged between my companions and the shop keepers, my spirts were pretty low.  I realize they were not trying to be discouraging.  They were just asking for the largest kimonos.  But the words made me feel like a behemoth instead of just a little bigger than the average Japanese.  The concerned look on the kimono teacher's face as she tugged and readjusted the hundredth kimono in a desperate attempt to make it fit correctly, a pursing of the lips, a slight wrinkle across the forehead, and the merest hint of pity in her eyes as if she had just come across a dying bug from a species she wasn't particularly fond of, stung and even make me a little angry.  Not at her, but at myself.  I really appreciated her help and patience, and the assistance of my landlady, but I was regretting putting myself in a position I knew would come from this adventure. 

After a half dozen shops, I quit looking.  The beautiful kimonos were piled on tables in various states of unfolding, like a fabric kaleidoscope.  I wanted to dig through them like the Japanese ladies around me.  Others were hanging, their sleeves blowing slightly in the breeze, as if the ghosts of their former owners were still wearing them, unable to part with such beauty and grace.  But I fought the urge to hold them, to try them on.  I knew it would end in disappointment.

At the end of the day, I did buy four kimonos.  Three were nothing special, just something to lounge around in.  Also, I plan to alter them to fit under the eggplant purple hakama that I found.  I need to cut them short and re-hem them, but I think they will look really good as just a top.  The only decent kimono I found was a light green and beautifully embroidered.  Like the rest, it did not fit, but I just could not leave the market empty handed.




That night was the first time I really cried since I have been in Japan. We are talking full on, ugly tears, gasping sobs, and complete emotional exhaustion.  It was not pretty.

However, two days later I was back at the same market with my same friend.  This time, I decided not to worry about whether or not the kimono fit in a traditional way.  It's not like I would be wearing it traditionally at home.  I ended up with two more beautiful kimonos on this trip.  And a fantastic ceramic stacking box that was a steal at 500 yen (about five dollars).



My mom has a blue and white one.  I have always loved it.
So there are two morals to this story.  First, if you are an American (or European) in Japan, there is a very good chance you will feel like a giant (and not in a good way).  A friend of mine put it best when he said he was just going to sit in a corner and mutter Hodor after his shopping excursion.  Second, and most important, don't let it get you down.  There were a few things my landlady and the kimono teacher would not let us away with, mainly trying to close the kimono right over left, but they said, for the most part, we are not Japanese.  So we should feel free to create our own style.  I had trouble believing that the first afternoon.  I was too overwhelmed with the negative body image I had brought with me from America.  But after a good cry and a night's sleep, I realized they were right.  I know this will not be the last time my size and shape upset me, but losing weight and getting in shape can be a slow process.  I just have to be patient and create my own look in the meantime.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Why I am so happy to live in this technological age

Yesterday, a friend and I went on an adventure.  We met up with a group of total strangers I found online.  Now this sounds like the start of a horror movie, but obviously I am alive to tell the tale.  I found out about this group of nerds, gamers, geeks, and otakus through a social networking site called Meetup.  Groups are created based on shared interest.  Those groups create events to bring like-minded people together.  And it is all a whole lot easier than the old method of crossing your fingers and hoping to make friends.

Over the years, I have come to realize that, in fact, I do not make friends easily.  Mostly because I don't know where to look.  That is why this internet age has been such a boon.  I am now able to find people who share my interests even in a foreign country.  I am making friends from all over the world.  This is not something that would happen to a recent transplant with a Monday through Friday job and no real networking opportunities.

But it is not just initial contact that technology has assisted with.  Because of wifi and smartphones, I can check Google Maps for the closest Krispy Kreme to ruin my diet with my new friends.  We can stay connected with Line and Facebook by just shaking our phones together.  I can share my adventures with friends and family thousands of miles away in real-time, if they are awake, with Snapchat, What's App, Skype, and other internet gadgets.

This truly is an amazing time when you stop to think about it.  Now if we could just invent some type of machine or microchip that would keep mosquitoes away.


I am apparently super tasty.