私は感謝しています

For the first time in two years, I will get to have turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, more mashed potatoes, and all of my Thanksgiving favorites.  I am so excited!

American Thanksgiving

It won’t surprise anyone that Japan doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving.  It seems to be only us and Canada.  So for two years, I went without the family and the fixings that made Thanksgiving one of my favorite holidays. 

But even without the traditional trappings, there was still plenty to be thankful for.  American Thanksgiving happened to fall right around the anniversary of Otose opening her acupuncture practice.  For her, the anniversary was a reason for celebration and giving thanks.  So, every year, she hosted a dinner party, invited all her friends and neighbors, and gave thanks for all the blessings that year had brought.  That is how I spent my first Thanksgiving in Japan – sharing nabe with new friends and celebrating the woman who had brought us all together.   

Japanese Thanksgiving

I don’t know if Otose knows how much that meant to me. How much all the things she did for me meant.  I have told her many times that I was only able to stay in Japan because of the support and friendship I found living next door to her.  I don’t know if she believes me.  Or maybe it is that Japanese modesty that made her shrug it off.   

As I get ready for this year’s Thanksgiving celebrations, I can’t help but think back on those two, special Japanese Thanksgivings.  The food was of course very different (though Anata has already asked if we could have the kabocha pudding I made for my first holiday in Japan), but I will still be surrounded by people I love.  I will also be missing those friends who can’t be there.  I can’t imagine what Otose would think of a turkey! 

I have been blessed with many amazing people in my life.  Through them I have grown, learned, laughed, and loved.  Sadly, I can never keep all of them as close to me as I would like.  Maybe one day I will have a chance to gather all of these wonderful people up in one large room and tell each of them how much they mean to me.  How glad I am that fate threw us together, even if it was only for a short time.  And how thankful I am for the lasting impressions they have made on my life.

私は本当に感謝しています.

Keeping in touch

Despite advances in technology, I have always been terrible at keeping in touch with people.  When I was in college, and Facebook came out, I was excited that at least now I had a way to marginally keep up with people I cared about.  As more and more people joined, I found more and more friends from my past.  When I made new friends in Japan, we immediately connected on Facebook and Line.  As those friends drifted away – to new cities or returned home – we promised to stay in touch.  The same way all of those junior high yearbook messages promised to stay in touch.

It isn’t that I don’t care.  But it is more I don’t know how. 

With Facebook, Line, Skype, and all the other amazing advances in technology, keeping in touch should be the easiest thing in the world.  Time zones and language barriers have been all but erased!  All I need are a few seconds and an internet connection.  I don’t even have to write in full paragraphs.  I have access to all of these amazing tools, as do my friends, but for some reason, we don’t really know how to use them.

When do you keep in touch?  It seems insincere to do it just when something important happens, like a birthday.  But it can be awkward just to text, “hey, how are you?  I was thinking about you.”  It is nice that Facebook lets you share things like recipes or funny pictures that can make the “I was just thinking about you,” seem less weird, but there is still a little awkward turtle going on when you hit send and wait for a reply (especially when you see that they have read it and just haven’t responded).  In person, it just seemed like the conversation flowed, it was natural.  But now you have to have an excuse to make contact.  On top of that, you are living in different time zones, you are doing different things, you are all getting on with your lives and enjoying the here and now.  It is intimidating – or, at least for me it is.

But once you get past the awkwardness, it can also be rewarding.  Despite the fact that you are not as much a part of that person’s immediate life, you are still a part of their past.  The conversations will change, of course; they will be more a recap of what is going on in each other’s lives and probably lose some of their depth, but I am learning that keeping those connections is important. 

Friendships aren’t just about a particular moment in your life.  They are about people that burrow into your heart while you are close together and stay there even after you drift apart.  You still care about what they are doing, even if it doesn’t involve you.  Friendships take work.  That is the hardest part.  Finding the energy and courage to say, “hey, how are you?  I was just thinking about you.” 

I am still not very good at it.  Sometimes life gets in the way.  If you don’t hear from me, don’t feel bad.  I am still thinking of you, and I am working on it.