Looking toward the future

As my time in Japan speeds to a close – move out date is set for April 25^th! – I must admit how loathe I am to leave this wonderful country.  I have had so many amazing adventures, met so many wonderful people, and experienced so many spectacular things.  I am running out of adjectives for just how fantastic my time here has been.  Still, I guess I have to accept that it is time to return home from this amazing, two year vacation and start the next phase of my life.

The change from one life phase to another will be a little different this time, though.  Before I rushed from one phase to the next, too excited about what came next to really appreciate or make the most of my time where I was.  I didn’t particularly enjoy college.  I rushed through in three years in order to start my life with Anata.  High school was even worse.  I couldn’t wait to graduate and find a place where I felt like I really belonged.  Each time the next phase, the future, always promised the opportunity to learn who I really was, to grow, and to really have fun with life.  But I never quite got there.  When I was supposed to be making memories, growing, and enjoying my time on this planet, I was too busy thinking of what would come next.  That is not to say I didn’t have any fun, but looking back all I can see is a girl rushing through life without stopping to enjoy it.

Japan has taught me to approach life a bit differently.  It has taught me to take time and enjoy the moment.  To take full advantage of the opportunities around me.  To be happy where I am.  It has taught me to slow down.  I have always thought life was an amazing thing – people are fascinating and the nature is such a beautiful mystery – but in my rush to get to a place where I could really enjoy the discovery and exploration of these things I kind of missed them.  Being in Japan gave me an excuse to stop rushing.  I knew I was only here for a limited time.  I knew I needed to use that time wisely – to take in as much of the culture, geography, and humanity as I possibly could before returning home.  It allowed me to say yes to experiences I would have skipped out on in America (experiences many of my coworkers and students miss out on because they are just everyday life for them).  In those experience I was able to see myself through new eyes and better understand, and eventually accept, things about myself that I had been ignoring.  It allowed me to do the growing, thinking, and self-reflection I kept saying would come with the next phase of my life.  I learned how to like myself, flaws and all, something that I have struggled for about as long as I can remember. 

I am excited to return home and start the next phase of my life, but unlike previous transitions, I am not in a hurry for it to get here.  I am content to let it come at its own pace.  I have realized that pushing and planning just make time slip by faster.  But if I just let things take their course, take advantage of the adventures the people and places around me have to offer, and just slow down and appreciate the moment I will have a lot more fun.  The future will become the present soon enough without any help from me.  By rushing toward it, all I am doing is blurring the scenery.  And Japan has taught me that the scenery is sometimes the best part.