We did it, we survived 2016. And I don’t mean like everyone was hoping Betty White did (or all the other celebrities we were crossing our fingers and praying for as 2016 came to its sad conclusion with a rapid escalation of the death toll). No, Anata and I survived The Holidays! We made it through the obligatory November and December events, even added a couple extra and hosted two, yes, two, dinner parties! Well, to be fair, there was a blizzard on Christmas Day, so we didn’t actually make it to every event on our jam-packed social calendar, but I was still pretty proud when the last guest left at 2 am New Year’s Day, and I was still alive.
I really missed Japan this holiday season. Don’t get me wrong, I was so excited to spend the holidays at home with family and friends, but I found myself longing for the quiet, relaxed winter break I had as a gaijin in Japan.
Japan doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving (obviously), so my Novembers weren’t spent trying to cram and much turkey and mashed potatoes down my gullet as I could get a hold of. Otose did host a party around Thanksgiving each year to celebrate the anniversary of opening her clinic and to make the foreigners staying with her feel more at home, but there was no turkey or pumpkin pie. And there was just the one. This year I had two Thanksgivings!
Christmas was also a much more subdued affair. Not being a Christian nation, Japan doesn’t really celebrate Christmas. They still do some presents, but it is more a date night for young couples than a celebration of Jesus’s birth. There is cake and, surprisingly, buckets of KFC. That is the Japanese equivalent of Christmas Ham – KFC. I guess Colonel Sanders does kind of look like Santa (who does visit Japanese children, by the way)…
I have never been huge into Christmas, so I kind of enjoyed not hearing Christmas carols starting in October or seeing Santas on every street corner. It was nice to not have to decide between saying, “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” to friends and coworkers. There were sales of course (remember, I said it was a date night), but I felt that the Japanese were at least honest with themselves about the commercial juggernaut that Christmas has become. They weren’t trying to hide behind “Jesus is the reason for the season” or any other feeble excuse we offer up rather than admit that Christmas has become all about the gifts regardless of which happy holiday you celebrate. As a gaijin with a husband and family back in the states, I only had to worry about gifts for a very select few. It was amazing!
Not that I hate giving gifts (or getting them). I just hate how important they seem to have become.
Instead, I like the Japanese New Year gift giving tradition. They give kids money. Plain and simple.
And while we’re on New Year, I think it was one of my favorite holidays as a gaijin. For Japanese people, New Years can be super stressful. The family comes over and basically hangs out for three days. A lot like Christmas in America. Most families will visit the local shrine on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day to get the first blessing of the New Year. These can be crowded, raucous (in a Japanese way) outings. But for the most part, New Year’s is a time to be with family. To visit, play games, and just inhabit the same space for a brief time. With everyone running in so many different directions and for insanely long hours during the year, this is their time to relax and come together. I am sure daughters-in-law suffer through the same stony silences and critical looks, children get as antsy and tired of being scolded, and young people roll their eyes at Grandpa’s anecdotes (or want to) just as many times as Americans, but in my mind Japanese New Year is a wonderful time of family and togetherness. What I wish Christmas were a little more in this country.
I guess I am kind of jealous of Japanese New Year traditions. I would love to spend three days sitting around a kotatsu with Otosan and Okasan, without anywhere to go or anything to do. In America, we do nothing but run, cook, shop, and eat from November till the first week of January. I would much prefer to sip tea (or sake), share a bento with my loved ones, and just be.
I am sure I will get back in the hang of the holidays by next year. I was grateful for the time I got to spend with everyone, the meals we got to share, and the catching up on everything missed, I just wish we could have spread it out over a few more weeks (or months). Maybe next year I can convince Anata to try Japanese style holidays. Or at least build me a kotatsu so we can enjoy watching the snow in warmth and comfort.
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