They always tell you to be ready for new things when you are in a foreign country. Each culture has its own set of ideas for what is appropriate and inappropriate in any situation. You accept that there will be some things you find difficult or nonsensical, that you will probably be offended by or offend other with, unintentionally of course, at some point or another in your travels. This is just part and parcel of being a world citizen.
When I came to Japan, I did my best to study up on some of the little, everyday things that might come up. No wearing shoes in the house. Check. Blowing your nose in public is rude. Check. You should cover your mouth when you laugh. Check (sometimes). Don’t eat or drink while you walk. Big fat X on this one. No talking on phone while riding public transportation. Check. No one calls anyway.
I was prepared for all of these things and many more I was sure I would discover when I got here. I did not want to offend anyone or make them more uncomfortable with my presence than I had to. What I was not prepared for, however, where the things Japanese people do that go against my American ideas. Mainly things I consider private behaviors that are unabashedly public here in Japan.
Because I am living rather than just traveling in this wonderful, exotic land, I run into many cultural differences the average traveler will never experience. Still, after a year, these things still throw me for a loop.
I think the one I see most often, almost every day I am at work, is teachers brushing their teeth in the staffroom after lunch. Now I am all for good dental hygiene, but it is a little awkward to see and hear someone walking around the office brushing their teeth. At both of my schools, my desk is by the communal sink. So it is even more awkward when the teachers spit, rinse, and spit again right by my workspace. It is not that I have anything against clean, healthy teeth. There are several dental professionals in my family. But this behavior is strange and a little upsetting to me. I feel like oral hygiene should be attended to in the bathroom, not the office. Something that takes place behind closed doors when you are not in the comfort of your own home. But then again, many aspects of hygiene are far more public in Japan than in America. Taking a bath for example…
While we are on the subject of personal care, another private behavior comes to mind. Blowing your nose in public is considered bad manners in Japan. Most guide books cover this. Instead, there is a constant sniffing and snorting all through cold, flu, and allergy season. This is annoying, but you learn to tune it out – or wear headphones. No, the culturally upsetting thing for me is how men will casually pick their noses here. As an avid anime fan, I was often confused by the prevalence of this habit in a certain type of male character. Usually a somewhat disreputable or immature would be seen with a finger almost constantly up his nose. Probably the best example of this is Gintoki Sakata from Gintama. While he is the protagonist's protagonist, he is also considered, immature, lazy, and foolish. Otosan would call him a jabronies. Maybe man child is more PC. I thought this was just a tell for a certain type of anime character, like a tsundere with a sharp tongue or an otaku with glasses and a headband. Needless to say, I was shocked when I saw it in real life. It is not something happening everywhere, of course. But every once in a while you will see a certain type of man shamelessly digging for gold in his nasal cavity in front of the whole world.
I must admit, many of the behaviors that I find uncomfortable are perpetuated by men, or boys. My male students will routinely undo their pants and tuck in their shirts as they stand to answer my questions or otherwise participate in my classes. This has to do with the fact that their uniform shirts should be tucked in at all times, especially when speaking in front of the class, but shirts seldom stay tucked once initial roll has been called and they take their seats. Custom dictates that they should address me with a school appropriate appearance. To do this, they have to tuck in their shirts. Which they do, while they are talking. This is always very uncomfortable for me since it involves them undoing belts and buttons. No one else seems phased by this behavior, though, and since I have even seen adult males do it, I assume it is not as culturally shocking to them as it is to me.
Over the past year I have come to understand that there is a definite difference in how Americans and Japanese see male nudity. In America, seeing a shirtless man is not a big deal, but changing and rearranging of clothes tends to take place behind closed doors. Not so in Japan. And it is much more than just tucking in shirts. Men and boys freely strip down in many semi-public places, much to the embarrassment of foreign females. When I participated in an evening of kendo, I was asked to change in a backstage area – even though I was just putting the uniform on over my clothes. When I came out, I was confronted by a group of middle aged men stripping all the way down to their tighty whities in clear view of wives, mothers, daughters, and me. Once I was finishing up class just after the bell rang. I was waiting for the Japanese English Teacher, who was discussing a recent test with a student, so we could return to the teachers room. I was erasing the board while I waited. When I turned around the boys, high school boys, were halfway out of their uniforms as they changed for gym. I bolted. This was not my first experience with students changing in the classroom – I would often show up for my first grade class last year to find boys and girls in various stages of undress. While still unsettling, it was in no way as shocking as turning around to find a room full of half naked teenage boys.
I will admit Americans can be a little prudish when it comes to nudity. Okay, very prudish. We seem uncomfortable in our own skin. It is something that I find sad, but also a habit I have been unable to completely break in myself. I have gotten to the point where I can go to the public bath without too much anxiety, but the Japanese acceptance of nudity can still leave me speechless. Especially when it comes to children. It is nothing to see a naked child in a public park. During summer they run through the fountain at Osakajo. On the beaches you see boys and girls like little Asian Coppertone ads, their bare bottoms so white compared to their tan torsos, as their Okasan rubs them down after a swim. Seeing this is jarring, but it also reminds me how different our countries are. Growing up I ran naked through sprinklers set up in the front yard far into elementary school. This was in the 1990s. Things like that no longer happen in America. We have become jaded. Too afraid, too protective of our precious children. And with good reason. America can be a frightening country.
But that is a discussion for another time. Instead, let me close with this… While I may find some Japanese behaviors unsettling, I understand this does not make them wrong. Just different. I wish I could address and/or stop some of them from happing in front of me (especially the ones involving male students), but I realize calling attention to them would only cause confusion. In many ways I feel pointing out these differences would destroy some of my purpose in being here. I wanted to get out of my cultural box. It was my choice. And, uncomfortable or not, that is what I am doing. It is also what I am doing to the Japanese people around me when I eat and walk or laugh wholeheartedly without covering my mouth. After all, a little cultural discomfort is good for everyone once in a while.
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